


I wanna make you mine but that's hard to say

by WhirlyBot



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/F, M/M, Polyamory, Raphael is a thief, Rating Might Change, Road Trips, They are all on a road trip, This is mostly humor and romance, Trans Female Character, but there could be some angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-03 02:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6593668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhirlyBot/pseuds/WhirlyBot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Simon (Syrena) Lewis changes her name (and everything else), grows up, goes on a road trip, and meets Raphael Santiago, a beautiful girl on the run from the law.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AKA the transgirl Saphael fic no one asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Her name is Syrena

When Simon Lewis is ten, his little sister receives her first makeup kit on the seventh day of Hanukkah.

It is a large pink box, tied with a pretty purple ribbon. Inside are eyeshadows and blush, brushes and pencils that Simon can't make heads or tails of.

She squeals and hugs their mother, then all but races to her room to use her gift. Simon stares after her, and for a split second a treacherous thought crosses his brain.

I want one too.

He shakes it off, tugging on his mother's arm, begging her to come outside and throw around his new football with him while Rebecca does her "girl stuff."

His father hasn't been around for years, so long that Simon almost can't remember him. Both of the Lewis children know how much their mother works to keep them in comfort, so they never dare complain, especially about something as trivial as presents. So he pushes the moment to the back of his mind.

Hours later, when his sister comes down looking as if she's a performer in the circus, he laughs at her, but he wonders how much fun it would be to wear glitter and gloss, to change his appearance anytime he wished. He knows it's ridiculous, because only girls are allowed to wear makeup.

"Look how pretty you are!" Simon's mother gushes, kneeling down to Rebecca's level. "You're like a woman already!" Rebecca giggles and sticks out her tongue.

Simon wonders why his mother has never called him pretty before.  
________

Simon is thirteen when he knows for sure there is something wrong with his body. Or at least, something wrong with him in general.

The boys around him are always scrambling to prove their masculinity, he is teased for being a geek and a recluse, and his best friend Clary is a girl.

This has never bothered Simon, because Clary is brave and kind and fiercely loyal. She's as fiery as her hair, can hold her own against the boys, and smiles at Simon like he's her world. He's sure that he smiles back the same way.

He can't fathom why Clary's gender is an issue to the few guy friends he has, but they constantly tease him about his "girlfriend." It makes Simon feel sick in a way he doesn't quite understand.

And his looks.

Oh, god, his looks.

One night, standing in front of a mirror, Simon traces his jawline, too sharp for his liking, with shaking fingers. Down his chest, the flatness of which makes him feel empty. He traces the lean muscle of his legs, cringing at how much hair has grown there. He feels awkward and gross and wrong.

Simon knows what transgender means, has even met a few of his mom's friends who had explained it to him gently when he was younger. Back then, he had never even considered that he might not be a male.

But now, as he tries to imagine growing up, tries to imagine a life with a beard and a deeper voice and everything he has been taught makes a man, he feels the bile rise in his throat.

So he calls Clary and tells her, "I might not be a boy."

She listens to him talk, and as soon as he breaks for breath, she hangs up.

Simon nearly has a heart attack then and there.

Oh god. She's going to hate him. He should't have told her, it's going to ruin their friendship, w-

He is snapped out of his thoughts by his phone ringing. He grabs it and nearly cries when he sees that Clary is calling him back. He almost forgets to answer in his relief. 

"Hello?"

"I just googled the most popular girl names from the past five years, because I'll be damned if my best friend decides her new name is going to be Uhura, you nerd."

Simon starts sobbing.  
__________

Two months later, Clary grasping her hand tightly for support, Syrena Lewis tells her mother and Rebecca that she is a girl.

"Do you mean," her mother begins carefully, "that you like boys?"

Syrena takes a deep breath and squeezes Clary's hand. 

"No, I still like girls, but I actually am a girl. And my name-" she takes another breath, "my name is Syrena."

Her mother purses her lips, brings her hands up to her face, hesitates, then places then in her lap again. Rebecca bites her lip and stares at Syrena, her expression unreadable.

After several unbearable minutes, her mother speaks up.

"I can't say I know much about this. You're going to have to explain a lot of things. But.."

Syrena doesn't dare breathe.

"If you're absolutely sure, and you're willing to help your sister and I understand, we can speak to your doctor about what we can do to help you... transition?"

It's lucky that Clary is standing right next to her, because Syrena's knees nearly give out. "Thank you," she gasps out. "Oh my god, Mom, I can't-" she chokes, tears threatening to spill over. "I love you so much, thank you-"

She starts crying again, chest heaving, clinging to Clary, who hugs her tightly, kissing her cheek. "You did it, okay? Your mom listened to you." Clary's voice wavers, but she clears her throat and continues. "I'm so proud of you."

Rebecca moves first, wrapping her arms around them both. "Hey, big sister. Stop the waterworks, would you?"

Sister.

Rebecca had called her big sister.

This only makes Syrena sob harder, and finally her mother stands up, walks toward the messy group hug, hesitates once more, and joins in.

Resting her chin on the top of Syrena's head, she sighs. "This isn't going to be easy for any of us, I hope you know that. But I want you to be happy, Sim- Syrena. I want that more than anything in the world."

Syrena is still crying, so she simply hugs her mother tighter.  
_________

When Syrena is sixteen, she walks out of the hospital slightly sore in her chest, but glowing with happiness.

When she gets to the car where Clary is waiting, the redhead takes one look and shrieks in delight. 

"Sy, look at you! You're beautiful!"  
She pauses for a moment, tilting her head to the side. 

"And a whole cup size bigger than me," she adds a little wistfully.

Syrena laughs, ducking her head as she slides into the passenger seat.

"I wanna get home and show Becca and mom," she says, swiping a piece of gum from the package on the center console when Clary isn't looking.

"We're coming back tomorrow, right?" asks Clary, who is now maneuvering the car out of the parking lot.

"Yeah, the doctor needs to check up on me for the next five days or so."

"Alright," Clary says, still smiling from ear to ear. "God, I can't wait for your mom and Rebecca to see you. It's going to be great." She reaches over and squeezes Syrena's arm.

Syrena grins, then blows a bubble and pops it loudly. Clary pretends to glare at her. "Stop stealing my gum!"

"You can have it back," Syrena says, sticking out her tongue.

Clary dissolves into giggles. "That's so gross."

"You love me anyway!" 

"Hell yeah I do."  
__________

Syrena's life over the next three years is relatively normal.

There is the time Clary introduces her to her boyfriend, Jace, and Syrena's first impression is that he's a total douchebag.

There is the day she gets her bottom surgery, and proceeds to cry herself to sleep, but this time, at least, it's from happiness.

Eventually, Jace brings his brother Alec and his sister Isabelle over, and Syrena accidentally outs herself to them. She learns that they're actually incredible supportive, and she comes to the conclusion that the Lightwood family isn't entirely terrible.

She meets Magnus Bane, who loves makeup and glitter and Alec more than anything else in the world. He has a habit of forgetting Syrena's name, but never even comes close to using a traditionally masculine name for her, so she figures it must be his way of showing affection.

After a year together, Clary breaks up with Jace, and he comes to Syrena, of all people, to ask what she thinks went wrong. It is the only time she ever sees Jace near tears, and she realizes she had misjudged him entirely.

Months later, Clary and Isabelle finally tell everyone that they're dating, and okay, Syrena really should have seen that one coming as soon as Clary called it off with Jace.

As soon as they all graduate, Magnus announces that he and Alec are taking a year to go on a road trip across the country before going to college, and that anyone who'd like to come along is more than welcome.

Izzy and Jace, who already knew about their brother's plans, are ready to go without a second thought. Syrena is more reluctant, but Clary sides with her girlfriend and practically drags her best friend into Magnus' car when it's time to start their grand adventure.

They make their way down the road, Jace and Magnus squabbling over the radio. Izzy and Clary are in charge of the maps, and Alec rations out the snacks. Syrena doesn't have a particular job, so she rests her head against the car window and listens to the chatter of her friends.

She is happy, because she is traveling the country with her friends, and soon she will go to college, get a degree, and be the person she has always wanted to be.

Then Raphael Santiago walks into her life and fucks it up without batting an eye.


	2. Tienes suerta que eres tan linda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for the google translate Spanish I did My Best.
> 
> While I realize that the usual shortening for Raphael is Raph, the actual Spanish nickname would be Rafa, so I'm using the traditional version for this story.
> 
> Edit: Thanks to AnimeCas for correcting my Spanish

Syrena is playing I Spy with Clary when Magnus finally shares the details of the first stop on their trip. He turns around and takes a map from Izzy, studying it as he speaks.

"First, we'll visit the lovely Jefferson Pools. I'm pretty sure we're only an hour away."

"Ooh, I've heard of those," Izzy says excitedly. "There are supposed to be all kinds of minerals that are really good for you. Plus, Thomas Jefferson himself went there, hence the name."

Syrena frowns. "Sounds fun, but I'm pretty sure you have to pay, and we're all broke nineteen year olds."

"That's what I said, but he's stubborn," Alec sighs, and Magnus winks at him.

"So we'll just sneak in at night."

Jace scoffs, not taking his eyes off the road. "You can't sneak into the Jefferson Pools. There's gotta be guards all the time."

Magnus grins. "That's why I called an old friend of mine to let her know we'd be stopping by."

Izzy raises an eyebrow. "So this friend of yours is going to get us past the guards, into the Jefferson Pools, and then back out without being caught?" 

"Exactly. She's extremely good."

Syrena doubts that anyone is talented enough to get six other people into a guarded building unnoticed, but she keeps quiet and digs out a soda from the cooler.

At least this mystery girl is bound to be interesting, if Magnus Bane is friends with her.  
__________

As Magnus had predicted, it's an hour later that Jace parks roughly a mile away from the Jefferson Pools. Syrena had seen the building as they rode past, the impressive structure silhouetted by the guards' sweeping flashlights.

All six of them tumble out of the car, stretching and grumbling about how long it took to get from New York to Virginia. 

"Did you have to park so far away?" Alec complains to Jace, who simply shrugs and points to Magnus. He in turn gestures to the large patch of bushes behind them.  
"She told me to keep our car a safe distance away."

They all turn to stare at the bushes.

"Uh...There's no one there, Mag-" Clary is interrupted by a figure crawling out from the untrimmed shrubs. The girl stands up, brushes off her jacket, and then switches on a flashlight, holding it up to her face.

Syrena takes note of her olive complexion, curly dark hair, and brown eyes, and feels heat rising in her cheeks, because the girl is really cute. 

But then she starts talking.

"Well you could have parked closer, but that would have been more incriminating if the police see the car. So really, I don't think walking a mile is too much of a price to pay for not going to jail." 

Syrena opens her mouth, but she can't think of a single thing to say. She glances at Magnus, who is grinning from ear to ear.

"Grumpy as ever, I see. It's been a long time, Rafa." Magnus walks over to the girl and hugs her.

To Syrena's surprise, she returns the embrace. "Good to see you, Bane." She let's go and steps back. "And don't call me Rafa."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Magnus teases, then turns back to face the others, who are all dumbfounded by the peculiar exchange. "Allow me to introduce you to Raphael Santiago. Please call her Rafa, it's her favorite nickname."

Syrena waves awkwardly. "I'm Syrena Lewis."

"Alec Lightwood."

"Isabelle Lightwood. Call me Izzy."

"Clary Fray."

"Jace Lightwood."

Raphael looks them up and down critically, raising an eyebrow. It makes Syrena nervous, or maybe it's just that she's in the presence of a really cute girl. "Have any of you ever broken into someone's house?"

"No." The answer is simultaneous. 

"Ever shoplifted?"

Syrena raises her hand. "Does a Mars bar count?"

Raphael throws her hands above her head and sighs in exasperation. "Magnus, how am I supposed to sneak an bunch of goody-goody kids into the Jefferson Pools?"

Jace glares at her. "Rude much? We're standing right here, and we're definitely more competent than you think we are."

She shoots a glare right back at him. "Whatever. I guess we'll see. Let's go." She turns and starts walking, then looks over her shoulder. "Don't just stand there!"

As they reluctantly follow her, Syrena catches Magnus' eye. He laughs at her expression.

"Yes, she's always like this."  
________

Unsurprisingly, it's Syrena that almost gets them caught. 

They're already made it to the entrance, and everyone else has already gone inside, but Syrena keeps losing track of where the guards are. 

She almost steps into the path of a flashlight before Raphael pulls her out of the way, nails digging into Syrena's shoulder.

"Dios, watch where you're going!" Raphael hisses, practically dragging Syrena inside the building, shutting the door behind them as quietly as she can. 

"Sorry," Syrena offers a weak apology. "Thanks for saving my ass back there."

Raphael just rolls her eyes and lets go of her shoulder, then walks away towards the pool, pulling off her jacket and boots when she gets to the edge. Syrena tries not to stare as Raphael takes off her shirt, revealing the bathing suit underneath, and fails miserably.

"Come on, Sy, the water's fine!" Clary yells from the other side of the pool, laughing when Izzy splashes her.

"I didn't bring a bathing suit, so I'll just..." Syrena gestures helplessly around her, then slips off her sandals anyway. She walks to the side of the pool and peers down at Raphael, who is already in the water. 

"What kind of person doesn't bring a bathing suit to the pool? You know what, nevermind. Tienes suerta que eres tan linda."

Syrena doesn't have time to ask what Raphael said before she's being pulled into the water.

She comes up gasping, then whirls around to face Raphael, who's laughing. "What the hell?"

"Your face was hilarious, I had to do it." 

"Oh yeah?" Syrena scoops up a handful of water and flings it at Raphael. "How about that?"

The other girl coughs, rubs her eyes, and grins. "You're in for it now!" She lunges, but Syrena ducks under the water and swims away, kicking furiously. She glances back and sees Raphael following her. 

They chase each other around all night, splashing and laughing. When the first hint of sun peeks through the skylights, Raphael advises that they leave before the pools open to the public.

Everyone is in high spirits as they walk back to the car, and Syrena is glad for the chance to dry out her clothes. They decide to just stay where they are for a few hours and catch some sleep out in the sun, then hit the road again. 

Raphael says her goodbyes, actually making an effort to be civil. "It was nice to meet you," she says, eyes lingering on Syrena for a second too long. "See you soon, Magnus." 

She jogs away, and Syrena wonders where she's going. Does she still live with her family? Is she a college student? 

Still, she shakes it off and lays down next to Clary and Izzy, willing herself to fall asleep.

As she drifts off, she can't stop thinking of laughter and dark eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been to the Jefferson Pools exactly once in my life when I was seven years old, so my memory of how they worked is... shoddy, at best. I assume there would be guards because... famous historical place=guards, I guess?


	3. So she ran away in her sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone makes some questionable choices, and they end up harboring a fugitive.

It's past noon when Syrena is woken up by Clary. The others are already getting into the car.

Magnus volunteers to drive, and a grateful Jace slides into the passenger seat. Alec, Izzy, and Clary all climb into the back, arranging themselves so that Syrena has just enough room to be comfortable. She squirms around in the seat, trying to find a place where her legs aren't cramped.

"Where's our next stop?" Izzy asks, throwing an arm around Clary. Magnus glances back at her.

"Virginia is nice, but we should make our way down to the Carolinas. The mountains are really pretty in the north, and we can visit Myrtle Beach and the boardwalk in the south." He nods at Izzy. "Any place in particular you want to see?"

Izzy shrugs. "The beach sounds good to me. Everyone else?"

The general consensus seems to be that their next extended stop will be Myrtle Beach and its boardwalk.

"Ready to go?" Jace calls from the front seat, putting his feet up on the dashboard. 

"Yeah!"

"We're burning daylight, let's go!"

Magnus starts the car and begins to back out from where they've parked, but pauses, then turns to look out his window. "Do you hear that?"

The sound of someone yelling can be heard in the distance, quickly getting closer. Syrena peers out of her own window and sees, to her utter astonishment, Raphael Santiago running full speed at the car. A bag is slung across her back as she continues yelling. 

"Open the door NOW!"

Without thinking, Syrena opens the door in the nick of time, and Raphael basically swan dives into her lap, slamming the door behind her. "Drive!" she hisses at Magnus. "I've got no time to explain!"

He shoves the car into forward and slams his foot against the gas, heading back for the road. The car's other occupants hold on for dear life.

Jace is staring at Raphael. "Why the hell did you just jump into our car? It's like you're running from the cops or something!"

Raphael glares at him. "I actually am on the run from the cops, asshole."

"Oh, not this again, Rafa," Magnus sighs, still going faster than a car holding seven people ever should.

"What the hell?" Asks a very flustered Syrena, who still has a lapful of fugitive. 

Raphael sits up and wiggles her way to the side, so she had room to sit. Her legs are still on Syrena's lap. "I was pick-pocketing," she gestures to the bag she is still carrying. "From those rich bastards who can afford a seven-night stay at the Homestead and buy a car just for the occasion. Snagged about ten wallets before I got caught. The guy managed to get a good look at my face before he called the cops, so I need to lay low for a while."

Clary's jaw is on the floor, and Syrena is sure she has the exact same expression. There's a criminal in their car. A wild-eyed, talented, cute criminal is hitching a ride with six teens who had just graduated high school barely two weeks ago.

"Well, at least you've calmed down a bit," Magnus remarks. "Last time I saw her, she reached thirty."

"That record still stands," Raphael replies, opening her bag and rifling through it. "I'm off my game."

"We can't just drive a fucking criminal around the country," Jace says, clearly on his last nerve. "We have to drop her off soon."

Magnus shakes his head. "Raphael is like a little sister to me. If she needs a place to go, I'm taking her there."

"I've never hurt anyone while stealing," Raphael cuts in, "and it's only from the rich, anyway."

"Like some kind of Robin Hood?" It's the only thing Syrena can think of.

Raphael rolls her eyes. "Sure, why not. The point is, I just need to stay with you guys until this whole thing blows over in a month or so. Can you tolerate me for that long?"

Clary and Izzy glance at each other and shrug. Alec raises an eyebrow, but then turns to Magnus, and Syrena sees his expression soften. "Fine with me."

Jace sighs. "Why do I even try?"

It takes an embarrassingly long moment for Syrena to realize that everyone is waiting on her answer. "Oh, uh... sure, if Magnus trusts her." She glances at Raphael, who stares at her for a second, then goes back to searching through her bag.

"Thanks, I guess. So where are you guys headed next?"

Magnus, having finally slowed down to a less life-threatening speed, tells her the plan.

"Really," she says once he's finished. "I've never been to the Carolinas."

Magnus laughs. "That's because you've never been out of Virginia."

"Untrue. I was born in New York. We only moved when I was five."

"Well, my friend, get ready to have the time of your life. I promise it will be more entertaining than moving."  
_________

They're passing through Charlotte in North Carolina when Syrena points out the roller coasters rising up on the horizon. "I think that's Carowinds! We went once when I was a kid." She sighs wistfully. 

"Wanna go again?"

Everyone in the car stares at Raphael, who has been silent the entire ride, despite Syrena's meager attempts at conversation. 

"Well, yeah I would." Syrena is hesitant. "But we don't really have enough money to spend on getting seven people into a theme park."

Raphael rolls her eyes, and Syrena resists the temptation to make a comment about them getting stuck that way. "Have you forgotten the whole reason I'm here? Ten wallets from rich assholes. I've been counting the money this whole time, and there's got to be at least a couple hundred in one of them alone."

She looks around at each of the others, smirking. "So, everyone up for a quick stop?"

"You're my new best friend," Syrena proclaims. "Sorry, Clary, but Raphael's got you beat."

Raphael's cheeks turn a faint pink, and she turns to stare out the window. Syrena tries her best not to check her out. She really does. But Raphael's hair is falling into her face and she hasn't bothered to fix it, and her jacket is slipping off her shoulders, and that shirt is way more low cut than Syrena thought at first glance, and-

Syrena is pulled from her treacherous thoughts when she feels something poking her ribs, and looks up to see Clary jabbing her with her finger. Both Clary and Izzy wiggle their eyebrows at Syrena, and then jerk their heads towards Raphael.

"Stop it," Syrena hisses, and the two other girls dissolve into giggles.

The girls' teasing doesn't really bother Syrena, because she's becoming more and more excited the closer they get to Carowinds. She adores theme parks, but hadn't had the chance to go to one in a long while.

She'll have to give Raphael a proper thank you later.

For now, though, she's going to enjoy the anticipation and not think about how pretty the girl sitting next to her is.

 

She totally succeeds.


	4. We could be the greatest team the world has ever seen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not only do we now have google translate Spanish, I'm throwing google translate Hebrew into the mix, because why not?

When Magnus parks the car, Syrena climbs over Raphael despite her protests, almost breaks an ankle hopping out, and practically sprints up to the ticket booths. The others catch up to her a moment later.

"Damn, Sy," Clary says, "I've never seen you so excited for anything, except for-" she catches herself just in time, and Syrena throws her a thankful glance. She'd rather hold off on coming out to the cute girl who she barely knows.

Raphael saunters up to the greasy man who is standing inside the booth and slides him four fifty dollar bills. "Seven adult tickets, please. Keep the change."

He gapes at her for a moment, then pulls out seven wristbands and tells her to hold out her arm.

As she lets the man put on the wristband, Raphael flashes the other members of the group a wily grin. Once her wristband is on, she steps away to let Magnus get his own, and starts heading for the entrance.

"Wait for us," Jace calls, and Raphael looks back over her shoulder.

"I'm sure you'll be able to catch up."

By the time Syrena steps up to get her wristband, Raphael has already disappeared into the theme park.

Magnus just sighs. "If I know Raphael, she's halfway across the park already, and twenty people are missing their wallets."

Alec looks rather disturbed. "Aren't you going to stop her?"

Magnus shrugs and kisses his boyfriend's cheek. "It's been a hopeless case for as long as I've known her. I suppose she thinks that since she's already in trouble, she can get away with whatever she wants."

Syrena wonders briefly about the history between Raphael and Magnus, but doesn't dwell on it for too long. Once everyone has their wristbands, she begins babbling excitedly as she guides them all into the park.

"We definitely have to ride Nighthawk, and Gold Rusher is a classic... Ricochet is great, but if you have neck problems it'd be pretty bad. Oh, I almost forgot-"

Izzy interrupts her gently. "I know you're excited, but how about you let us discover it for ourselves?"

"Oh, yeah." Syrena's cheeks go a light pink. It's always been difficult for her to know when to stop talking.

Clary suggests that they all meet back at a restaurant in three hours, and once they've agreed on where to go, the group splits up. Clary and Izzy head for the WhiteWater Falls, and Magnus drags Alec off to the bumper cars. 

Jace and Syrena take one look at each other and decide to head in opposite directions. While there isn't any animosity between them anymore, they definitely aren't the closest out of their friend group. Syrena suspects that it would be awkward for just the two of them to hang out all day.

Undeterred by the fact that she's alone, Syrena starts walking, determined to make this trip to Carowinds memorable.  
_________

She runs into Raphael nearly an hour later.

Literally runs into her.

She's making her way over to the Intimidator, the only Carowinds coaster she's never been on before. It's slow going with the amount of people walking around, so once she sees an opening, she takes the opportunity and starts jogging, carefully weaving through the people passing by.

Unfortunately, she doesn't see the girl who's stepping out from a candy store, and barrels right into her.

They both go down, Syrena letting out a strangled yelp. She tries to catch herself, but ends up face planting right in the middle of the girl's chest, and she feels her cheeks go bright red. She looks up quickly to see who she's managed to accidentally assault, and immediately wishes for the sweet release of death.

It's Raphael Santiago.

"Watch where you're fucking going," Raphael snaps, then realizes who she's talking to. "Oh, it's you. Can you get off of me now?"

Syrena scrambles backwards and then stands up, brushing herself off and trying to calm the heat that seems to have permanently settled in her face.  
"Shit, I'm so sorry, I-"

Raphael cuts her off as she stands up. "It's fine. Where are you going in such a hurry anyway?"

Syrena looks down at her toes. "The Intimidator," she mumbles. "I've never ridden it."

The shorter girl sighs and picks her bag up off the ground. "Alright, let's go."

"What?"

"Hey, you're not the only one who likes rollercoasters. Plus you're all alone, it's kind of pathetic."

Syrena flushes, but this time it's from irritation. "I am not pathetic! I chose to go off on my own, and I don't need you to go with me."

Raphael rolls her eyes. "Sure you 'chose' to be alone, after everyone else paired off. Am I right?"

Syrena's silence seems to be all the answer she needs, so she continues. "Anyway, I'm going to ride that coaster with you, and we're going to have fun, and you're going to enjoy my company, okay? Because frankly, it's really depressing seeing you wander around by yourself, so I've decided that I'm going to be your friend."

Raphael finishes her tirade, looking pleased with herself. Syrena is speechless and extremely offended. She decides that no matter how pretty this girl is, she's still scathing and rude. "Well you aren't acting very friendly! And telling me how pathetic I am isn't really the best way to get on my good side. Maybe I don't want to be your friend, have you thought about that?" She crosses her arms and tries her best to look intimidating. 

"Oh, please." Raphael rolls her eyes. "You're probably the nicest, most naïve person I've ever met. I don't think you're even capable of not wanting to be someone's friend." She turns around and starts walking. "I've got a rollercoaster to ride, so feel free to join me, mi amiga."

Syrena has nowhere else to go, so she follows.  
_________

As planned, they rendezvous with the other two hours later, and Syrena decides that she will have to revoke her former opinion on Raphael. The other girl is sarcastic and narcissistic, sure, but she has a subtle way of showing kindness, and is genuinely funny. Her offer of friendship was off-putting, but it seems to have been sincere.

They're both eating cotton candy, cheeks pink from laughter, hair windblown as they stumble into the restaurant. It's a fifties-style café called the Jukebox Diner. The rest of the group is already seated, and Magnus enthusiastically waves them over.

"Good, you found out resident criminal," Jace remarks as they both sit down, and Raphael actually sticks her tongue out at him. Syrena snickers, and Magnus looks back and forth between the two of them.

"You," he points at Raphael, "are one of the most refined and bitter people I've ever met, and yet you're acting your age for once."

Raphael shrugs, leaning back in her chair. "Esta chica sabe cómo hacer amigos, e incluso ella no se da cuenta."

A slow grin creeps over Magnus' face. "La gran Raphael Santiago en realidad tiene sentimientos ? Estoy sorprendido."

Syrena is regretting her decision to stick with Hebrew instead of taking Spanish when Alec speaks up. "You know, the point of a conversation is to include the group, so please speak in a language that all seven people at this table can understand." 

Magnus smiles lovingly at his boyfriend. "Te amo."

Alec blushes and looks down. "Love you too. Also, that doesn't count, pretty much everyone knows what te amo means."

Syrena laughs and decides to join in.   
"אז אני מניח שאני לא יכול לדבר עברית סביבך גם כן?"

Clary laughs. "Not fair, Sy. You're the only one who speaks Hebrew. At least Raphael and Magnus are on the same page."

When Syrena looks over, she notices that Raphael is grinning at her, but quickly schools her expression back to neutral when she catches Syrena watching her.

 

They stay at the restaurant for much longer than they should, talking and laughing and spouting phrases in others languages just to annoy their friends. As she looks around at the people she loves, Syrena can't think of a single time she's been happier.


	5. Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Lydia Branwell

They're on the road again, Alec taking a turn to drive. Magnus sits in the passenger seat, happily holding hands with his boyfriend.

"Two hands on the wheel," Jace calls out teasingly. "Wouldn't want to get too distracted."

"Don't worry, I got it." Alec doesn't take his eyes off the road.

Clary and Izzy are sharing headphones, probably listening to that weird podcast they both love. At random intervals, one of them will giggle and whisper to the other about a gorgeous scientist or a glowing cloud.

Jace is attempting to read, but is becoming increasingly agitated by the fact that he keeps getting hit by cracker crumbs. Whenever another barrage of crumbs is thrown his way, he looks up quickly, but never sees who is doing it. 

Syrena is on her phone, texting her mom, who had been dubious about the trip. She had promised to text at least twice a week to make sure everything was fine. Her mom wants to know everything about their adventure so far, but Syrena is rather reluctant to tell her about the newest addition to their group.

Looking up from her phone, Syrena glances at Raphael, who is hiding a box of crackers in her bag. Every so often she reaches in, quietly pulls out a handful, then crushes and throws them in one fluid, lightning-fast movement. As soon as they leave her hand, she's back to pretending to be asleep. 

"Almost there!" Magnus says a little too loudly, pointing ahead of them. Sure enough, the road sign shows that they are only a mile away from Myrtle Beach's boardwalk. It's called Broadway at the Beach, and Syrena can tell that it'll definitely be more of a Magnus place.

She sneaks another glance at Raphael. Of course, she can't let Magnus have all of the fun. Maybe Raphael, having appointed herself as Syrena's new friend, would make sure that they both enjoyed themselves.

Raphael opens her eyes, and Syrena quickly turns back to her phone.  
__________

This time, Magnus is the first one out of the car. He practically skips a few feet ahead of the rest of the group, then waits for them all to catch up at the entrance.

It's a nice place, with tall buildings on either side of the walkway, and plenty of tables with umbrellas to protect them from the scorching sun. For a few minutes they simply walk around, trying to see what shops look interesting.

And then Magnus sees the store called Sparkles.

He practically drags the rest of them inside. When the rest of them stop right inside the entrance, he barrels right on in.

The place is entirely pink and utterly adorable. Little girls sit in chairs, getting their hair done, or standing around boxes overflowing with feather boas and other accessories, picking out their favorite. Pop songs float from speakers on either side of a small stage, and some of the girls who are all dressed up are dancing around with their stylists.

For Magnus, it's heaven on earth. He strides confidently across the room to a stylist who has just finished up. "How much for the full experience?"

"Fifteen dollars," she replies, smiling brightly. "For your daughter?"

Magnus laughs. "No, I'm only nineteen. I'm getting this for me."

The stylist is speechless for a moment, then takes a moment to look him over. She takes in his red-streaked hair, his glittery nails and eyeliner, then shrugs and says, "Sure, why not?"

Magnus hands her a twenty and tells her to keep the change. She walks him over to a chair and tells him to sit down while she sets up. The chair is obviously meant for someone much smaller that Magnus, so he has to adjust his legs quite a bit, but this does not deter him. He grins widely at the others who are still standing by the door and beckons them over. They shuffle awkwardly over to where he stands. 

"Alec, would you like to join me?" Magnus looks up at his boyfriend.

Alec blushes, looks down, and then mumbles, "Just my nails."

Syrena knows that Alec had struggled with his family's views of masculinity, and how he always felt the need to be incredibly averse to anything deemed stereotypically girly. Magnus had been good for him, helping him learn that it was okay to go for what he wanted, even if what he wanted was sparkly nails.

The stylist walks back over with various hair products and makeup containers. "My boyfriend is going to get his nails done," Magnus says, gesturing to Alec. He hands the woman another fifteen.

The stylist nods, then calls over another stylist for Alec, one with long blonde hair and piercing eyes. She's intimidating at first glance, and Syrena briefly wonders why she chose to work here, but then she smiles and the whole room seems to light up.

They both get to work. Magnus' stylist introduces herself as Heather. She starts by adding even more glitter to him, something Syrena thought was impossible, by applying a light glitter powder all over his face. It's barely noticeable until he turns to the light, and it has a pleasant way of bringing out his eyes, which are an interesting shade of green, almost yellow.

While Magnus is becoming even more sparkly, Alec's stylist sets out an array of colors for him to choose from. Once he picks out a deep purple, she starts talking as she paints his nails.

"I'm Lydia," she says, dipping the brush into the bottle.

"Alec," he replies.

"So, how long have you two been   
dating?" she glances over at Magnus. 

"About two years now."

"And... those two girls, standing next to him," she gestures subtly to Clary and Izzy. "Are they your friends as well?" She tries to sound nonchalant, but Alec recognizes her tone of voice.

"The dark-haired one is my sister, Isabelle. The redhead is Clary, she's just a friend." He quickly adds, "They're dating."

"Oh," Lydia says, trying her best not to sound disappointed as she wipes away some excess polish off of Alec's thumb. "That's nice."

Alec feels bad, so he decides to give her an opening, because she seems nice enough. "You know," he says quietly, "I've always heard Izzy say that she would be more than fine with polyamory. I don't know if she's discussed it with Clary, but..." He trails off.

Lydia turns bright red. "Oh no, I couldn't intrude on their relationship, I just-" she caps the bottle. "Anyway, you're done!" She takes Alec's hands and sticks them under the portable fan, turning it on. "You sit there for a minute. I'm just going to... yeah." She hurries off and starts organizing the bins of feather boas by color.  
_________

Clary and Isabelle are both checking out the cute stylist girl who is rearranging the boas. Her blonde ponytail swishes whenever she walks. 

Izzy leans over and whispers to her girlfriend. "Let's go for it."

Clary blushes but nods.

They start to walk towards the cute girl, but are interrupted by Heather exclaiming, "You're done!"

Magnus stands up and does a little spin as his friends turn to stare.

His hair is spiked up more than usual, and Heather has applied a dark gold eyeshadow. His lips are glossy and tinted red. He turns to Alec and grins.  
"How do I look?"

Alec opens and closes his mouth, but doesn't make a sound. Instead, he gets up, quickly grabs a bright red feather boa from the bin, and tosses it around Magnus' shoulders. "Perfect."

Magnus' smile grows even wider. "God, I knew there was a reason I love you." He holds up Alec's hands, inspecting his fingernails. "Your stylist did a fantastic job."

"Her name's Lydia," Alec says, then turns to stare at Clary and Isabelle. "You should go for it."

Izzy laughs and grabs Clary's hand, walking over to where Lydia stands, fixing her ponytail.

Heather clasps her hands together and looks around at the rest of the group. "Now for the best part!" They all look over at her as she moves behind a counter and clicks something on the small computer sitting there. Another song, one they're all familiar with, begins to play. "Dance party!" Heather yells to everyone in the building. Then, more quietly, "It's mandatory."

The five or so little girls in the store all run for the stage, jumping around and singing along. Magnus laughs and drags Alec onto the center of the stage, playfully spinning around. 

Syrena sees Clary, Izzy, and Lydia all shuffle over together. Lydia is clearly nervous, but the other two girls grab her hands and start dancing.

Only Syrena and Raphael are left standing, starting awkwardly at each other. 

"So..."

Before Syrena has a chance to finish, Raphael rolls her eyes and takes hold of her wrist, dragging her to the stage with their friends. "Es hora de bailar, mi amiga."

Syrena is a terrible dancer, but Raphael leads her in some sort of tango, and they both end up laughing too hard because they're both trying to tango in the midst of five year old girls, to an overplayed pop song, and everything about the situation is completely ridiculous.

Still, they keep spinning and laughing and being happy, and Syrena wouldn't trade it for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, Sparkles is a real place on Broadway at the Beach, and it's fun as hell. I'm still debating exactly what to do with Lydia, but I'm going to try my best to not push her to the side, because she deserves better than that.


	6. And there's a storm you're starting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were going to be happy together, but. Well. Things just didn't work out that way, I suppose.

It's mutually agreed that they will stay at Myrtle Beach for a week.

Clary and Izzy are the most adamant, and Syrena is certain it has to do with that blonde stylist they keep texting. Magnus backs them up, and Alec can't say no to his sparkly boyfriend. Jace and Raphael were the most reluctant, but they were hopelessly outmatched when they put it to a vote.

"Only one week," Jace says as they all set up camp. "Then we're going to somewhere more interesting."

Alec rolls his eyes and whispers to Syrena. "He just doesn't like the beach."

Since the entire group is relying on Raphael's stolen money, and Clary took one look at the hotel prices before nearly fainting, the car is their best option. Magnus parked in a secluded spot just off the road, a thicket of trees hiding them from pedestrians. It's close enough to the beach and the boardwalk that they can walk, and don't have to move their makeshift campsite.

Magnus, Alec, Clary, and Izzy have claimed their sleeping spots inside the car. Jace, Raphael, and Syrena have dragged out sleeping bags, setting up next to the car.

By the time they finish getting settled, Syrena can't stop yawning. The others look just as exhausted. Magnus stretches and gazes at the starry sky. "Well," he says cheerfully, "I'm going to sleep. If you want to stay up, don't get arrested." He looks pointedly at Raphael before climbing into the car.

Alec and Jace both turn in for the night, but Clary and Izzy decide to do some midnight shopping. They invite Syrena and Raphael, but neither of them are that interested.

Syrena lays down, burrowing into her sleeping bag. "Goodnight," she mumbles to Raphael, who is sitting on top of her own blanket pile. The other girl gives her a faint smile, then turns around again. 

Figuring that's the closest thing to a reply she's going to get, she closes her eyes and drifts off.  
___________

Syrena wakes to someone poking her in the side.

She assumes it's Jace trying to irritate her, so she rolls over and tries to ignore it.

It isn't until she hears someone muttering in Spanish that her eyes pop open, and she finds herself staring directly at Raphael's (admittedly gorgeous) face.

"What the hell?" she whispers, careful not to wake the others.

"Good, you're up. Let's go." Raphael stands up, brushing off her jacket.

"Go? Go where?" Syrena sits up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"To the beach!"

Syrena blinks rapidly, then digs around in her sleeping bag and pulls out her phone. The time is 2:35 in the morning. "You're kidding."

"No," Raphael grins. "It's more fun when no one else is there. If you'd actually get up, I'll show you."

Syrena groans, but stands up anyway. "Why me? Why not ask Izzy or Magnus or even Jace? I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly the adventurous type."

"I have noticed, and I've decided that we're going to change that." Raphael grabs Syrena's arms and practically drags her away from the car. "So I'm going to take you to the beach at ungodly hours in the morning."

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

Syrena sighs, but five minutes later, she finds herself at the beach anyway.

It's completely deserted this early in the morning. A few stray beer bottles litter the ground, and Syrena keeps stopping to pick them up and throw them away. Raphael watches her the first two times, then joins her in clearing away the rest.

Raphael takes off her jacket and lays it carefully down on the sand farthest away from the ocean. Syrena tries not to stare at her leanly muscled arms. She turns away and tries to distract herself by letting down her ponytail and shaking out her hair. 

When she turns back around, Raphael is already at the waterline, waiting for her. Syrena jogs over and stand next to her, their hands nearly brushing against each other. 

Raphael tilts her head to the sky, a slight breeze blowing her hair away from her face. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. "I shouldn't have come. On the trip, I mean. If the cops catch us, every single one of you will be incriminated for harboring a fugitive."

Syrena stares at Raphael, eyes wide. "But you... you just stole a few wallets!"

"No," Raphael clenches her hands into fists. "Syrena. In my six years of doing this, I've stolen..." she takes another deep breath. "I've stolen over thirty thousand dollars in cash, just from the pick-pocketing. That doesn't even count the shoplifting. If they catch me for one thing, they're sure to bust me for another. If they prove I did it, you're all doomed as well."

Syrena had nearly passed out at the mention of thirty grand, but something in Raphael's expression keeps her from voicing her horror aloud. She looks vulnerable, and even a little bit scared. 

Syrena takes Raphael's hand. When the shorter girl turns to look at her, Syrena gathers her courage and starts talking. 

"Look, it's clear that Magnus really cares about you. If you needed help, he wouldn't take no for an answer. You've saved our asses with that money, helped us to have what has so far been the best time of our lives. I know next year it'll all end, I'll be a twenty year old college student up to my ears in student loans, and separated from all my friends. But we'll have these memories of being reckless and stupid and wonderful, and I think you've... you've managed to make it better."

Raphael starts to interrupt. "That still doesn't-"

"Let me finish, Rafa!" It's the first time anyone other than Magnus has used that nickname, and it shuts Raphael up immediately. Syrena digs her toes into the sand and continues. 

"I know you think you'll drag us down with you, but the truth is, we wouldn't care at all. Because over these past weeks, everyone has come to really like you, Raphael. I know Jace doesn't really show it, but even he would admit it. We all care about you, and about what happens to you. Especially," she refuses to break eye contact. "Especially me. God, I can't imagine this trip without you. You can be mean and snappy and abrasive, but I've seen you. You can be those nasty things, but you can't help that kindness, that Robin Hood mentality, and your willingness to be a friend. I care about you so much, Raphael, so don't you think for a second that coming along on this trip was a mistake."

Raphael stares at Syrena for what seems like an eternity. Her eyes are wide and unblinking. 

Syrena is desperate to break the silence, but before she can speak, Raphael makes a decision.

The kiss is quick, and Syrena barely registers what has happened before Raphael pulls back, looking horrified. She collects herself immediately and yanks her hand away from Syrena. "Fuck, I'm sorry-"

"No!" Syrena says, grabbing at Raphael's arm. "That was fine. It was great, actually, I-"

"That's not what I meant." Raphael steps back, practically snarling. Syrena shrinks back. "I'm not supposed to get attached. This doesn't mean anything, okay?"

"No, not okay! You can't just kiss me and then tell me it didn't mean anything. Don't you-" Syrena tries to keep her voice from breaking. "Don't you like me?"

Raphael rolls her eyes and backs up farther. "Of course I like you, that's the whole damn problem! I'm a criminal, you're a girl who's got her whole future ahead of her. It was fine just being your friend, because friends come and go anyway. But this? I refuse to do this again."

Syrena's shock and disappointment is quickly turning to anger. "Are you saying you'll just leave us? You'll find a place to stay with a bunch of clueless rich people to steal from, and then repeat the whole process? Do we not mean anything to you?"

"Of course I'll leave you! God, did you really think this would last forever? Even you can't be that stupid. It's how I've lived for a long time, and some silly little girl having a crush on me isn't going to change that." Raphael is practically yelling at this point, voice growing steadily louder.

Syrena makes one last attempt. "But you could stay! Everyone is happy, couldn't you just be a permanent member of our group?"

Raphael turns her back to Syrena and laughs bitterly. "Permanent? I am the least permanent person you will ever meet."

She looks back at Syrena once more, and the regret is clear on her face. "And it never makes any difference."

Raphael walks away, leaving Syrena alone on the beach.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot, but clearly I have no control when it comes to Saphael.


End file.
